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Bettin' On A Darker Shade of Red

February 14th


I just got home from visiting my grandmother in the hospital. I brought her some flowers. Some pink ones. I think they are carnations. She is always planting flowers. All over her bedroom. And in anything. Margarine containers. Pill bottles. She always buys me things on Valentines Day. Not just a card or some chocolate. I get that stuff, but I also get a new outfit (that is always cool) and things like walkmans and shit, too. It's kinda like it is my birthday. She usually kisses me like a hundred times. I can't stand it, to be honest, when she is kissing on me. She is always buying me shit, and I…never buy her anything. So, I went to cut a few lawns with Bobby on the weekend and bought her the flowers. Then I just sat there with her. She did not wake-up, but she is not going to wake-up, anyway. I remember the first time up there, at the hospital to see her, like three weeks a go. This nurse says to me, 'Talk to her; she will hear you.' And all I thought was what a load of fucking bullshit. I heard Aunt Lynn and my mother talking. The doctors confirmed there is nothing working in her head, but her brainstem. That means she can't think, probably. But when I sit there with her, it is...nice and peaceful, even though, I know, we are all just waiting for her to die. I do not think she knows I am really there with her. But I do think she is probably having a really nice dream about me when I am there. I hope I am smiling in the dream. I feel really bad, Minnie. I don't even like her. It makes me feel real bad. So, I just sit in the room and I talk about you.



Jennifer said…
Sometimes it's the things that are not said that scream the loudest.
Queenie said…
Fourteen year olds can certainly be loud.
Hi, Jennifer. Always fun to see you.

fildup said…
14 year olds dont usually write as well s you Q
Queenie said…
Good thing I am old.

~Autumn said…
This reminds me of something... bare with me... Remember in "As good as it Gets" when Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt are in the classy restaurant in Maryland, and in order to pay her this huge compliment, he has to her his mental health history so she understands.

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