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For Another Dollar A Day

You Could:

1. Play a game of pinball.
2. Make a few phone calls from a pay phone.
3. Buy any shampoo you want in travel size.
4. Or a package of party balloons.
5. Probably get 10 books from a Yard Sale.
6. Pick up a copy of the newspaper.
7. Get your own Kinder Egg and keep the silly toy on your desk to torture children with. Acceptable form of revenge.
8. Give the dollar to your child and watch them go insane in The Dollar Store trying to figure out what to buy. Acceptable form of revenge. They even get something out of the deal.
9. Buy a pretty box of tissue paper.
10. Or some tea-lights for bathtime.
11. Or some Scotch Tape.
12. Slurp up a can of chicken noodle soup. Ew.
13. Or Ravioli. More ew.
14. Or munch on a can of asparagus. Barf.
15. Buy some Cadbury Mini Eggs. Gosh, I miss them.
16. Or a bottle of spring water.
17. Smell up your house with air freshener.
18. Freeze with a blue Mr. Freeze.
19. Get the kitty a can of tuna.
20. Eat an Oh Henry chocolate bar.
21. Or a Snickers.
22. Put a litre of gas in your car.
23. Buy one new oven mitt.
24. And go back to the store the next day for another one.
25. Scratch a lottery ticket.
26. Or open two.
27. Get orange nail polish from the sale rack.
28. Cover your feet in a funky pair of socks from The Dollar Store.
29. Chomp on a package of gum.
30. Or get some from a gumball machine.
31. Or pick the machine that has cheap jewelry in it.
32. Unless you are feeling all rebel and want to get fake tattoo.
33. Or you can even get Spiderman bobbleheads in those machines these days. At Wal-Mart.
34. Drink some milk.
35. Feed four different kids Mr Noodles. Because apparently, kids like Mr. Noodles raw.
36. Get a tube of acrylic paint.
37. Buy two cookies from Tim Hortons.
38. Or one of their Toffee Glazed donuts.
39. Or a Banana Nut Muffin.
40. Arm yourself with a cheap squirt gun.
41. And get some little army men, too.
42. Hell, go for it. You can get a package of farm animals, also.
43. Eat Kraft Dinner. You know you want to.
44. Play a song in a jukebox.
45. Or a game of pool at the bar.
46. Buy some bobby-pins for your hair.
47. Get three bars of Ivory soap for the kids and the company.
48. Buy a flyer swatter for the Flying Things you never kill.
49. Or a lightbulb.
50. Finally purchase your dream car from the Hot Wheels collection.
51. Buy baking soda for the fridge.
52. Tie up your sneakers with some crazy new laces.
53. Eat some french fries from a fast food joint.
54. Better if you can share with someone:)
55. Drink a whole package of Lime Kool-Aid.
56. Glue the money to the floor and watch people try to pick it up.
57. Smoke black licorice cigars.
58. Buy a new pen.
59. Or a package of smiley face stickers.
60. Or an old music cassette.
61. Or a new package of bendy straws.
62. Suck on a bag of sour keys.
63. Or Gummy Bears.
64. Or eat a Tootsie Roll.
65. Or buy a bag of Fun Dip. You only get one flavor now with that awful chalky stick.
66. Plant a package of flower seeds. And have a front yard just like Church Lady's.
67. Buy cheap plastic pink flamingos to put in your garden, too.
68. Get one ticket at The Fair.
69. Purchase a deck of cards.
70. Buy a stamp.
71. Or some clothespins.
72. Or some toothpicks.
73. Ride the horse at the grocery store. If you are brave.
74. Drink a can of cream soda.
75. Pay for a music download.
76. Or get a three-day trail membership at some other kind of websites.
77. Buy a bag of marbles.
78. Feed a parking meter anywhere you want to.
79. Hand out a bag of lollipops.
80. Eat a small bag of Doritos.
81. Have another key cut.
82. Buy some wood glue.
83. Squish some Silly Putty.
84. Crunch on a Granny Smith apple.
85. Buy your favorite scent from the bar bathroom.
86. Maybe then you will need to go back to buy condoms from the bar bathroom.
87. Invest in some sidewalk chalk.
88. Slurp up a Slurpie.
89. Buy your favorite lip balm.
90. Or a new refrigerator magnet.
91. Rent a movie from the variety store.
92. Light up the bathroom with a night light.
93. Or outside with a pumpkin head or skull flashlight. On Sale Now!!!!
94. Feed the birds at the park.
95. Buy candy canes for your Christmas Tree.
96. Drink coffee from somewhere not Tim Hortons.
97. Suck on a package of Lifesavers all day long.
98. Or eat your favorite flavor of yogurt.
99. Get some wonderful dark purple, cheap stinky ass bubble bath.
100. Buy AJAX. I get it for 83 cents.
101. Make your first donation to me.

Comments

ticknart said…
But you can't buy a cup of coffee at 'Bucks.
Queenie said…
Evil green machine is trying to take over Canada, too.

Q

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