Rolling My Eyes

I only do these if they have a question I have not answered before. 1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? White and blue. 2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I am not reading right now. I am doing this. 3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? The colour blue. 4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Balderdash. 5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Readers Digest 6. FAVORITE SMELL? Depends on my mood. 7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? Man, there is some gross smelling things in the world and I can only pick one? 8. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Depends on my mood. 9. FAVORITE COLOR? Okay, these questions are irritating. 10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? Sigh. 11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Depends what I am doing. 12. FUTURE CHILDREN'S NAME? Who said anything about children to begin with? 13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Appreciation. 14. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate or vanilla what? 15. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FA...

You Could: 1. Play a game of pinball. 2. Make a few phone calls from a pay phone. 3. Buy any shampoo you want in travel size. 4. Or a package of party balloons. 5. Probably get 10 books from a Yard Sale. 6. Pick up a copy of the newspaper. 7. Get your own Kinder Egg and keep the silly toy on your desk to torture children with. Acceptable form of revenge. 8. Give the dollar to your child and watch them go insane in The Dollar Store trying to figure out what to buy. Acceptable form of revenge. They even get something out of the deal. 9. Buy a pretty box of tissue paper. 10. Or some tea-lights for bathtime. 11. Or some Scotch Tape. 12. Slurp up a can of chicken noodle soup. Ew. 13. Or Ravioli. More ew. 14. Or munch on a can of asparagus. Barf. 15. Buy some Cadbury Mini Eggs. Gosh, I miss them. 16. Or a bottle of spring water. 17. Smell up your house with air freshener. 18. Freeze with a blue Mr. Freeze. 19. Get the kitty a can of tuna. 20. Eat an Oh Henry chocolate bar. 21. Or a Snickers....

I Have Written 1. On paper.  2. Lines on a blackboard. 3. On windows. 4. Run-away letters. 5. In the sand. 6. Perfect tests. 7. On Post-Its. 8. In Baby Books. 9. On a calendar. 10. The alphabet.  11. With lipstick. 12. Advice. 13. For Your Eyes Only letters. 14. In a car. 15. Songs with Rob. 16. My Mother's name on absent notes. 17. When I was bored. 18. In a Slam-Book. 19. Only one break-up letter. 20. Sitting on a snowy hill. 21. My own version of In Flanders Fields.  How disrespectful. 22. About a unicorn. 23. My first published poem in Grade Three. 24. Answers to other's scribbles in bathroom stalls. 25. In telephone books. 26. A novella on a one night notice. 27. Red. 28. A cheque only three times.  Cheques might teach me responsibility.  But I kinda like my cash only attitude. 29. Harlequin. 30. In my first journal.  It had The Smurfs on it. 31. Mock love letters with Ian. 32. On a pair of shoes. 33. In all CAPITALS. 34....

1. Read one of my lists? 2. Rolled your eyes? 3. Chewed the inside of your mouth?  4. Read a newspaper? 5. Burnt supper? 6. Bought a hat? 7. Sat in the grass? 8. Talked to the most annoying person you know? 9. Danced? 10. Jumped in a puddle? 11. Didn't do the dishes? 12. Drank Root Beer? 13. Saw a horse? 14. Swung on a pole? 15. Swore? 16. Gave something away? 17. Listened to The Beach Boys? 18. Bought The 4 Pieces Toaster!!!???  I am still thinking about it. 19. Went on a ride at the fair? 20. Used tape? 21. Looked at your elbow? 22. Bought flowers? 23. Watched a John Travolta movie? 24. Went out for supper? 25. Found the perfect cure? 26. Spoke out of turn? 27. Received a package in the mail? 28. Wanted to throw your arms in the air? 29. Bought something used? 30. Sucked on a mint? 31. Walked anywhere? 32. Dusted your house? 33. Played hopscotch? 34. Did your favorite party trick? 35. Fed a squirrel? 36. Hung your clothes outside to dry? 37. Were in a plane?...

1. Thank you, Mom, for everything. 2. Thank you, Dad, for pointing out the chipmunk. 3. Thank you, Jean.  Wait until you see your new house. 4. Thank you, Grandma, for pretending to like Metallica. 5. Thank you, Grandpa, for the box.  I think you knew... 6. Thank you, Mikey, for Hound Dog on the guitar.  Before you smashed it over my head.  Brothers are jerks. 7. Thank you, Pappy, for the change. 8. Thank you, Brenda, for always coming at the right time. 9. Thank you, Jenny, for the card 3 months late.  It is still my favorite one. 10. Thank you, Mrs. Houting, for the poster in your Grade Two classroom with the word empathy on it.  Thank you more for never pointing it out.  11.  Thank you, Michelle, for playing road hockey with me. 12. Thank you, Scott, for friendship before we even knew.  Wow, man.  We could make a movie.  Love you, Big Bro. 13. Thank you, Carrie, for being such a girl. 14. Thank you, my friend in Iowa, for day or ...

C.E. reminds me of my hometown every time I visit her site.  Thank you for more than that.   Most people read the other blog.  I read this one.  cbeck your talent amazes me.   I wish it was Me who wrote this.  Every post makes you grin.   You should all know Varinbird by now.  If not, here is your chance.   The Author.   For sure.     Just Plain Weird     There are no words.   Just read it.   ACK!  They are everywhere!   WTF?!?  

1. If you are rolling your eyes again at me, fantastic! 2. If you are my friend, I love you. 3. If you have something better to do, you already know I do not want you here. 4. If you aren't taking the hint, I am happy to tell you to screw off. 5. If you cannot breathe, I hope it is only for a minute and something wonderful has happened. 6. If you do not want it anymore, you might have upped it's worth. 7. If you are Phoebe, thank you. 8. If you have to walk up a stairwell alone, do it with some sex-appeal. 9. If you do not learn to be selfish, you will never be good at giving. 10. If you are hurt by someone, but not brave enough to speak up, get over it. 11. If you spilt it, clean it up. 12. If you think you can do better, is there someone else who thinks you are the best? 13. If you have a dog, I bet he would like a surprise walk or car ride right now. 14. If you have a $1.55, you better buy me a coffee before you walk through my door. 15. If you are in my Favorites List, I vi...

1. If you are here, thank you for stopping by. 2. If you are my friend, I love you. 3. If you have something better to do, go do it. This list will be here when you get back. 4. If you have nothing better to do, I am honored. 5. If you are happy, let others know. Smile. 6. If you are wrong, be careful where you lay the blame. 7. If you are crying, do not be mad. 8. If you are scared, that is okay. 9. If you are sorry, so is someone else. 10. If you cannot decide, check out what is behind Door #3. 11. If you take a walk, say hi to a stranger. 12. If you miss someone, let them know. 13. If you have a hobby, schedule it in. 14. If you need help, pick the right person. 15. If you want to eat a fly, it will not kill you. 16. If you can do it, why aren't you? 17. If you are Brenda, I miss you. 18. If you take a fall, you can learn from the sting too. Just get back up. 19. If you care, listen. 20. If you have a story, tell it at the right time. 21. If you need to scream, do it alone. ...

I... 1. Listened to Matchbox 20. 2. Bought toilet paper. 3. Tried a new kind of chips. 4. Had phone issues. 5. Left my door unlocked and left. 6. Burned tea lights. 7. Did a cartwheel. 8. Wore make-up. 9. Watched fireworks. 10. Ate nachos with Charlie at 3 a.m. and not on a Sunday. 11. Drank too much Tim Hortons coffee. 12. Did not use my coffee maker once. 13. Did not buy milk. 14. Laughed until I had tears streaming down my face when there was an episode of "When Birds Attack" taking place in my home. Four year olds do not like to be laughed at. 15. Picked out the charges the police would lay for weird crimes. 16. Got funny email from Brenda. 17. Lost my favorite brush. 18. Went to the bank. 19. Ate a strawberry and banana trifle. 20. Put batteries in my toothbrush. 21. Told my best joke and did not screw it up. 22. Had movers in my house. 23. Had a conversation with a real surfer "dude". 24. Bought red paint. 25. Wrote to Bill. 26. Learned the basics of putting ...

I see some people getting emails lately. And they are the kind I prefer. Words chosen carefully, not simple forwards. This kind of email takes a lot of work my friend AJ recently told me. They are so worth it. I see Trinkaten and I still see more. I see Jennifer recently celebrated her anniversary and a fabulous haircut. Congratulations on both. I see Silik is still wickedly witty and creative. He is out of this world. Thank God. I hope your hair is brown. I see Jake . Everyone should. Thank you for letting me enjoy you all.

I See.... I see AJ on a fantastic white wooden front porch after a summer's afternoon rain. He is wearing blue jeans, leaning back in his chair, his bare feet up on the railing. I see wise eyes and a wife with shining ones opening up the front door to join him. AJ-the gift you gave me today is unexplainable with words. Thank you. I see Juner in her backyard opening up a freezer bag with her daughter. Amazement runs through their watery eyes at the stench of decomposition. I see KJB in a room that does not need light bulbs. I see chartreuse walls, red couches and funky posters. I see the widest smile. I can so see her rolling her eyes. I see The Bard in a quiet room with the glow of the computer screen as the only light, hiding the most beautiful parts about him behind his curly hair. I see Morgan , my first favorite, searching everywhere to bring truth to his blog. I see him on his hands and knees, looking down the sewers, peering through fences, looking into life a step ...

As Always:To Moon The broad who put a hex on me when I stole her stolen idea. I can't stop making lists... Things That Annoy Me(I might get loud when annoyed) 1. My computer. 2. People who are always late. 3. Or too early. 4. Other people writing in my notebooks. 5. No coffee filters. 6. Someone knocking at my door. People I like just walk in. 7. Favor-askers hinting. 8. Anything I cannot open with my hands or teeth. 9. Not long line-ups...slow cashiers. 10. Weeds. 11. Anything breaking I like. 12. A horrible movie. 13. People louder than me. 14. Someone pointing at me when they are angry. 15. Telemarketers calling when I am busy. 16. People trying to borrow books before I have read them. 17. Fingerprints on walls. 18. The three-way stop in front of my house. 19. Easter bunny shopping. 20. Uncomfortable clothes. 21. Beehives in my tree. 22. Singing the wrong lyrics. 23. Tuesdays. 24. Getting tickled. 25. Mary-Kate and Ashley. 26. Richard Simmons. 27. Sally Fields. 28. Paige Davis....

***Thank you to the Bard for brainstorming with me and as always, to Moon who allowed me to steal her stolen idea. I am sorry all, for my addictions. The list thing WILL wear thin. 1. On a mountain range, I would of course, do the echo thing. 2. On a set of porch steps, I would have my most honest conversations. 3. On a raft in a pool, I would still be drinking coffee. 4. On a skateboard, I would fall off. 5. On a tire swing, I would pretend it was a unicorn again. 6. On a cover of a novel, I will find my name. 7. On a kitchen counter, I will swing my feet. 8. On a jailbreak, I am too loud and caught. 9. On a riverbank, I would think of an old man and the stories he would have to share. 10. On a plate, I do not want to see bacon. 11. On a hunch, I am always right. 12. On a chilly day, I want to be outside. 13. On a game of SURVIVOR, I would place in the top three. 14. On a cloud, I would definitely hope my man-servant was there. 15. On a podium, I would give my acceptance speech for...

***Thank you Moon. 101 Tidbits About Me 1. My name is not Queenie. 2. My middle name is Marie. 3. I grew-up in a small town. 4. I don't live there, anymore. 5. I love coffee. 6. I have brown eyes. 7. I have two kids. 8. I am the best euchre player I know. 9. I do not like pizza. 10. McCain pizza between two slices of bread with mayo is acceptable. 11. I like the fact I have a vulgar mouth. 12. I wear Navy Perfume. 13. I love Mini-Eggs. 14. I have different change containers all over my house. They do not make me rich. 15. I would marry Jay Leno. 16. Mrs. Houting was my favorite teacher. 17. People like my laugh. 18. I can be an expert bitch. 19. I make people feel comfortable in my home by putting my feet up on my coffee table. 20. I love the rain. 21. I have as much fun with bubble gum as I can to see how long it takes before people are annoyed with me. 22. I like watching ants. 23. Or looking at the clouds. 24. Matchbox 20 makes me feel fantastic. 25. So do Flakies. 26. I scored...

1. He has bad breath. 2. His hair is uncombed. 3. He is married. 4. He is unemployed. 5. He chews with his mouth open. 6. He talks about his "friend" Molly way too much. 7. He shoves his tongue all the way down your throat on the first date. 8. He slobbers, too. 9. His Mother drives you on all your dates. 10. He USED to go to AA. 11. Your first date is to his church. 12. He is scared of commitment. 13. He is scared of spiders. 14. He is scared of kittens. 15. He loses his wallet a lot. 16. His idea of dinner and a movie is popcorn and a porn. 17. He does not share the popcorn. 18. He spends his Friday nights at Bingo with Mom and Dad. 19. His idea of daring is you getting to be on top. 20. You saw him picking his nose and wiping it on his couch when you were coming out of his bathroom. 21. Where there really was napkins for toilet paper. 22. And you think you might have seen a not-so-hidden camera. 23. You have to be home everynight at 11 for the next three hours of Sports Ne...

1. The middle of the night. 2. Reading (even the shampoo bottle). 3. Writing (gosh, I hope that is what it is I do..). 4. Conversation. 5. Tim Horton's Coffee 6. Coffee 7. Rain 8. Loud Music (Help me! I am on a Bubble Gum 80's pop kick!) 9. Mini-Eggs (I miss you so..come back, Easter) 10. Laying in bed for an hour after I wake-up. Well that was not much fun as I expected. I was hoping for a suprise. I guess sometime I will have to do a Top 50, instead.

What is your "Make Me Feel Sexy" song? Why are you still reading this? Go listen to it.

1. Bought everyone in the pub a drink? 2. Swam with wild dolphins? 3. Climbed a mountain? 4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive? 5. Been inside the Great Pyramid? 6. Held a tarantula? 7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone? 8. Said "I love you" and meant it? 81/2. Said I love you and watched the blank stare? 9. Hugged a tree? 10. Done a striptease? 11. Bungee jumped? 12. Visited Paris? Ontario 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea? 14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise? 15. Seen the Northern Lights? 16. Gone to a huge sports game? 17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa? 18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables? 19. Touched an iceberg? 20. Slept under the stars? 21. Changed a baby's diaper? 22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon? 23. Watched a meteor shower? 24. Gotten drunk on champagne? 25. Given more than you can afford to charity? 26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope? 27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst po...