Rolling My Eyes

The First Night I just stood there. And I thought fuck to myself. My roommate, who was responsible for breaking the handle on the toilet, had just left for a few days vacation. The toilet had stopped running the other two times it had over-flowed pass the brim after three seconds this week. Oh. But not this time. Nope. This time the water just kept spilling on out. And the taxi was going to be in my driveway in 8 minutes to pick me up and take me to the airport. The water was almost to the bathroom door before I did anything. Which was to try to dry the floor first with a big towel. And a little towel. So, when I had to hike up my jeans to avoid getting them wet, I thought maybe I should stop the water. I did go for my plunger first. But it is not what stopped the water. But I did stop the water. I also used almost every clean sheet in the hallway closet on the bathroom floor because the taxi cab driver was then in my driveway. That is when The Voice laughed at me. Eat shit, I mut...

Stupid Fly has been living in my house for almost a month. Even when I removed more screens from my windows so Chicky could bring his own budgie ass home; Stupid Fly never left. Stupid Fly however, did welcome the company of his own I think, as a few other Flying Things stopped in for a visit then. Chicky never did make his way back home. For the most part, I ignored Stupid Fly. I saw him seldom and only remarking to Stupid Fly that obviously drinking from the toilet was making him more retarded made The Voice heckle me. So, I pretty much pretended Stupid Fly did not exist. Except that one time I opened up the Hallway Closet and he came bobbling out. He looked no real worse for the wear, mind you. He still had a glazed look to him as he flew down the Hallway. He almost bumped into the walls five times. That was his average. I said "Stupid Fly, I am sorry." The Hallway Closet had not been opened in three days. Stupid Fly was pretty quiet as far as Flying Things go. He ...

I came home tonight, later then when I usually do. It was dark. I floundered around my house for a bit, doing mindless things. Mindless things can be a lot of work. It is 1:00 a.m. So, of course, I decide I deserve a bath. It is a pretty good thing I took that bath. My horror could have sent me over the edge had I not. I open my bedroom door. Flying Things. Everywhere. And oh my god. One of those dark black Things. Those big Things. Those evil Things. It was The Drunk Thing. The Drunk Thing made me once... ...sit on the porch with my daughter, 8 months old, at midnight for an hour... I lost my keys a few days ago. I had to break-in to my house. It could have never been done without my daughter. She has been my hero for days. The screen came off my bedroom window for this break-in. I have not got around to putting it back on. The first night, I slept with my window closed. The second night, I opted for the couch. The third night, it was 3:30 a.m. and I was all not scared...

Wal-Mart makes me smile. There really is something I want in every aisle. I never leave without buying myself something. My favorite shampoo, I can only find there. So, without a doubt, when Jean asked yesterday if I would like to go with her to the most fabulous store in the world, I agreed. Even if I had to bring the two kids in tow. Jean is a shopaholic. Jean gets everything she wants. Jean knows where the deals are. Jean is patient. Jean has a sixth sense. And I love Wal-Mart. I match her wits there. My son also needed a new pair of running shoes, his last suddenly passed worn. I had been forcing him to wear sandals for a week. Wal-Mart is great for shoes. And these do not have to be great shoes, to boot. School starts back up in a month. But Someone smiles on me, because there is a SHOE SALE!! And I get to thinking, my daughter needs a new pair of cute sneakers, too. She is a girl, afterall. I tell the kids to have a look around. Mostly so I can, too. Even though I...