Giving Shit

Edward Julian Watson purchased himself a kitten.
And he regretted it badly, while he was walking home from the pet shop, arms full of expensive cat food, scented litter and the orange box containing the orange cat, that Edward Julian Watson had decided to name Orange. He regretted buying the animal because the sounds coming from the box appalled him. The cat sounded like a human. A small one dying and scared. It kept scratching at the box.
Edward Julian Watson could not get the sight of Jessica McClure's face out of his mind. His mother had made him watch the news while the little girl was stuck down a well.

Three days went by and he still felt lonely. The kitten had not helped matters much.
He seldom ever saw the dumb animal. It spent all its time under furniture.
In whatever room he was not, he assumed.
He never heard it make a sound.
But apparently his neighbour did. She opened her door, when he was getting into his.
"My god, the scratching and howling....What do you have in there?"
"I'd tell you, if i ever see it," Edward Julian Watson said, as he went inside.
The kitten did not like his new home.
And neither did Edward Julian Watson.

"I bought a kitten," he told Becki, holding the telephone in one hand and a pen in the other. He should have been working on business, but the travel agency was running rather smoothly without him. He couldn't find the problem. Why would the owners sell then? To retire in Florida, was all he had been told.
"I love kittens!" Becki sounded excited in his ear. "Do you love your kitten?"
"I love my kitten, " Edward Julian Watson lied.
"Have you given him a name yet?"
"Of course," he lied again. And after a questioning pause, he scrambled, "Orange. His name is Orange."
"Is he...orange?" Becki asked.
"Yes."
Becki sighed. "You're dumb. I hope you know that", and without breaking beat, she (said)"And someone bought your old TV shop, I see."
"I know. Becki. You would love Chicago."
And she laughed, but not loud. "Do you miss me, Edward?"
"Kinda," he said.
"So, do you know who bought your store?"
He laughed. "Yeah. My old landlords."

Edward Julian Watson He was so ready for sleep. He felt so nice and warm under the covers.
And then Edward Julian Watson smelled shit. He sniffed the air twice to make sure.
Yep. Shit.
"I don't like you, Orange," Edward Julian Watson said out loud to the cat who did not care.
And then he thought,Oh my god, I am soooo tired.
But now he could not sleep because he smelled shit.
"Fuck."
He noticed his stick of deodorant on his bedside table because of the red glow from his alarm clock numbers. 3:04. Without hesitation, he went with his first thought.
He rubbed the deodorant on underneath his nose.
And then Edward Julian Watson went to sleep.