Tommy walked along the dark side of the apartment building. He knew he could get in through the back door, but going back up to the seventh floor again just scared the shit out of him. He had tried to rob the 7-11 three times for milk. But he just couldn't do it. Now instead, Tommy was on his way to the apartment building's dumpster. Tommy wanted to kick at the dirt and the broken beer bottle glass that littered the weeds under foot, but he did not.
Tommy wanted to cry too, but he did not do that either. It was getting too late for him to be making sounds. He knew someone would likely hear him and then back to Yolanda's he would have to go.
And the sounds of the night surrounding him were loud enough, anyway, with the televisions and their broken-up voices and the mixing of music coming from bedrooms. Loud were the whirl of the fans that made Tommy notice even more the dead air, that hung humid to his skin. The crickets were calling for rain, cars were chugging and squealing and people were yelling; Roy, get me some water and Tisha, where's that cat? A basketball pounded pavement.
Sneaking by; the orange light was dim, but it caught Tommy's eye and he turned towards it. A bedroom window and a girl on her hands and knees. She had a man's penis in her mouth. Her hair, slicked to her forehead, was as dark as his skin.
And Tommy could not believe what he was seeing. And Tommy did not know what he was seeing.
When it slipped out of her mouth, Tommy gaped at the thought of how much bigger his penis could grow. He would not look away.
Until she looked up, spotting him through the ripped window screen. "You fuckin' pervert kid. Get the fuck outta here."
He noticed the sweat beading between her breasts, before he ran. From the best stuff he had ever saw.
Yolanda had spent up all of the money for him fast. And then her welfare did not come. A letter came instead saying she was suspended. And Tommy knew when he was suspended from school that he had to stay home. After a few days, he discovered the same thing happens, when you are on welfare suspends you. Yolanda just sat at the kitchen table most of the time, in her green pants, with her bottom swallowing the seat whole. She seemed bigger every time Tommy looked at her. Her white teeth more menacing.
"Good for nothing bastard," she muttered, when she dropped his plate of food in front of him, in the evenings. The only meal anyone was getting.
And finally one morning she yelled because the girls were crying for milk. "Ain't you a man, Tommyboy? Go get us some goddamn food and don't you show your white ass back here till you do. You hear me? I'll hurt you, if you don't, Tommytommytommyboy."
And Tommy knew it was true because Yolanda had hurt him before. With her fists and with flyswatters.
Tommy slowed his running as he came around the corner, to where the garbage was kept. He was breathing hard from the run, and taking was taking big breaths, so Tommy tasted the garbage before he smelt it. His body gagged. He looked at the large grey container and saw the bags sticking out of the top. And then he saw more bags, on the ground, ripped open and slimy like flesh rotting.
I don't want to do this. I do not like Yolanda or her girls. Or the gross people who live here. His mind was yelling. And this time Tommy kicked when he wanted to, but he was kicking cement, so he hurt his toe. "FUCK."
And then suddenly, one of the people stuck her head over the top of the dumpster. She had twenty red bows in her hair. "Look what I found," she hissed at him. She held up a picture frame and Tommy noticed, as he walked closer to her, the shards of glass sticking out from the wood.
"That's just junk," he said to her.
"Oh, I have lots of panes of glass at home. What are you looking for, kid?"
She told him her name was Pepsi, when Tommy asked her it to avoid answering her question and he laughed and believed her.
She told him she was eleven, when Tommy asked her how old she was, but she would not really be that age for another four and a half months.
She told him that she made the long pink earrings she was wearing, "from lamp shades", and that she had made all the red bows in her hair, too, but they were really just old Christmas decorations she had found in the dumpster last week.
But Tommy trusted her big brown eyes. So he decided to tell her why he was there.
"You can't eat anything from here. That's nasty." she told him.
"I don't want to," he told her.
So, Pepsi told him about a place five blocks over. "They hire people who cannot cook." She talked on the way over there about how Ed's Pizza and Pool Hall was the place where people went to drink beer and after they were drunk, the place where they ordered pizza to take home with them. "It's a rough place. People are always getting into fights. My Momma worked there and had a knife pulled on her." She also told him they would have to go through a dumpster, anyway and Tommy noticed, the whole way there, that she continued to faintly smell like the trash she had just been weeding through.
He was scared when they approached the back of the pool hall, the music was too loud.
The kitchen door was open.
Pepsi swore and said, "I'll have to do it. Stay here."
And he did and he watched her and she did not make a sound. She just walked over and opened the bin like it was no big deal. Then she was handing him two pizza boxes and turning him around and saying, "Let us hope for the best."
Two steps later and the voice was loud. The voice was deep. "What are you two doing?"
When Tommy turned the sudden nightness merged with the man's skin, who was standing right in front of them. Tommy only saw his teeth, his blue eyes and his apron.
"We're going to eat some pizza," Pepsi said. Again with the no big deal.
And the man said, "Alright."
Tommy and Pepsi ran the five blocks back home and tip-toed quietly to the back door of the apartment building.
"She's not gonna let you eat, kid. You better do it now," she whispered, when Tommy went to go inside.
"In here; under the stairs," he whispered back and she agreed.
When they opened the boxes, the cheese and pepperoni pizzas were burnt, but when Tommy offered her a slice she took it. He ate three himself, before he asked, "Do you wanna put your mouth on my penis?"
But Pepsi just laughed, as she took off running up the stairs. "Next time, kid."
And Pepsi was right. Yolanda woke-up the girls up and sent Tommy to bed without offering him pizza. After she hit him with her fists again.
Tommy wanted to cry too, but he did not do that either. It was getting too late for him to be making sounds. He knew someone would likely hear him and then back to Yolanda's he would have to go.
And the sounds of the night surrounding him were loud enough, anyway, with the televisions and their broken-up voices and the mixing of music coming from bedrooms. Loud were the whirl of the fans that made Tommy notice even more the dead air, that hung humid to his skin. The crickets were calling for rain, cars were chugging and squealing and people were yelling; Roy, get me some water and Tisha, where's that cat? A basketball pounded pavement.
Sneaking by; the orange light was dim, but it caught Tommy's eye and he turned towards it. A bedroom window and a girl on her hands and knees. She had a man's penis in her mouth. Her hair, slicked to her forehead, was as dark as his skin.
And Tommy could not believe what he was seeing. And Tommy did not know what he was seeing.
When it slipped out of her mouth, Tommy gaped at the thought of how much bigger his penis could grow. He would not look away.
Until she looked up, spotting him through the ripped window screen. "You fuckin' pervert kid. Get the fuck outta here."
He noticed the sweat beading between her breasts, before he ran. From the best stuff he had ever saw.
Yolanda had spent up all of the money for him fast. And then her welfare did not come. A letter came instead saying she was suspended. And Tommy knew when he was suspended from school that he had to stay home. After a few days, he discovered the same thing happens, when you are on welfare suspends you. Yolanda just sat at the kitchen table most of the time, in her green pants, with her bottom swallowing the seat whole. She seemed bigger every time Tommy looked at her. Her white teeth more menacing.
"Good for nothing bastard," she muttered, when she dropped his plate of food in front of him, in the evenings. The only meal anyone was getting.
And finally one morning she yelled because the girls were crying for milk. "Ain't you a man, Tommyboy? Go get us some goddamn food and don't you show your white ass back here till you do. You hear me? I'll hurt you, if you don't, Tommytommytommyboy."
And Tommy knew it was true because Yolanda had hurt him before. With her fists and with flyswatters.
Tommy slowed his running as he came around the corner, to where the garbage was kept. He was breathing hard from the run, and taking was taking big breaths, so Tommy tasted the garbage before he smelt it. His body gagged. He looked at the large grey container and saw the bags sticking out of the top. And then he saw more bags, on the ground, ripped open and slimy like flesh rotting.
I don't want to do this. I do not like Yolanda or her girls. Or the gross people who live here. His mind was yelling. And this time Tommy kicked when he wanted to, but he was kicking cement, so he hurt his toe. "FUCK."
And then suddenly, one of the people stuck her head over the top of the dumpster. She had twenty red bows in her hair. "Look what I found," she hissed at him. She held up a picture frame and Tommy noticed, as he walked closer to her, the shards of glass sticking out from the wood.
"That's just junk," he said to her.
"Oh, I have lots of panes of glass at home. What are you looking for, kid?"
She told him her name was Pepsi, when Tommy asked her it to avoid answering her question and he laughed and believed her.
She told him she was eleven, when Tommy asked her how old she was, but she would not really be that age for another four and a half months.
She told him that she made the long pink earrings she was wearing, "from lamp shades", and that she had made all the red bows in her hair, too, but they were really just old Christmas decorations she had found in the dumpster last week.
But Tommy trusted her big brown eyes. So he decided to tell her why he was there.
"You can't eat anything from here. That's nasty." she told him.
"I don't want to," he told her.
So, Pepsi told him about a place five blocks over. "They hire people who cannot cook." She talked on the way over there about how Ed's Pizza and Pool Hall was the place where people went to drink beer and after they were drunk, the place where they ordered pizza to take home with them. "It's a rough place. People are always getting into fights. My Momma worked there and had a knife pulled on her." She also told him they would have to go through a dumpster, anyway and Tommy noticed, the whole way there, that she continued to faintly smell like the trash she had just been weeding through.
He was scared when they approached the back of the pool hall, the music was too loud.
The kitchen door was open.
Pepsi swore and said, "I'll have to do it. Stay here."
And he did and he watched her and she did not make a sound. She just walked over and opened the bin like it was no big deal. Then she was handing him two pizza boxes and turning him around and saying, "Let us hope for the best."
Two steps later and the voice was loud. The voice was deep. "What are you two doing?"
When Tommy turned the sudden nightness merged with the man's skin, who was standing right in front of them. Tommy only saw his teeth, his blue eyes and his apron.
"We're going to eat some pizza," Pepsi said. Again with the no big deal.
And the man said, "Alright."
Tommy and Pepsi ran the five blocks back home and tip-toed quietly to the back door of the apartment building.
"She's not gonna let you eat, kid. You better do it now," she whispered, when Tommy went to go inside.
"In here; under the stairs," he whispered back and she agreed.
When they opened the boxes, the cheese and pepperoni pizzas were burnt, but when Tommy offered her a slice she took it. He ate three himself, before he asked, "Do you wanna put your mouth on my penis?"
But Pepsi just laughed, as she took off running up the stairs. "Next time, kid."
And Pepsi was right. Yolanda woke-up the girls up and sent Tommy to bed without offering him pizza. After she hit him with her fists again.
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