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Giving Shit

Edward Julian Watson was beginning to wonder why he ever bothered to look into the mirror.
My cheeks are getting fat....GAWD, and he patted his hands against them.
They were definately getting fatter. He then shook his cheeks with his fingertips.
Oh, and definately wobblier.
Edward Julian Watson was wearing a white undershirt. And blue boxer shorts. And brown socks.

Edward Julian Watson was driving in his blue Datsun and it was 7:09 AM, his really cool digital watch had told him. He had glanced at it because he was sitting at a red light and really had nothing better to do.
This is also why he looked in the rearview mirror.
And noticed his cheeks again.

Edward Julian Watson went dining on his lunch break. To K-Mart.
Edward Julian Watson placed many white paper napkins on his lap, while he ordered the hot beef sandwich.
The peas that came on the white plate were just too green to eat.
Edward Julian Watson had drank too much coffee on this Tuesday morning.
And poor Edward Julian Watson always washes his hands after peeing.

Edward Julian Watson was at home and he was sitting in the dark. And dammit, he was a man, so he had his feet up on the coffee table.
Edward Julian Watson wanted to tell someone that he thought his cheeks were getting fatter.
But, we've already said Edward Julian Watson was a man.
He sighed, as he stood up, leaning over the arm of his couch to turn on the lamp.
And when the light came on, the first thing Edward Julian Watson saw, were the Yellow Pages. Since 1886.



Comments

Constance said…
Hello, Queenie,
Having been visiting your blog periodically over the last few months, I begin to wonder. Is Edward Julian Watson an alterego?
I love and identify with him. Is he going to become a book? I missed the beginning of course, but with Edward, it doesn't seem to matter. You can pick him up just about anywhere and scratch you head and see yourself in his self-conscious actions.
Blessings,
Connie
Constance said…
Hello, Queenie,
Having been visiting your blog periodically over the last few months, I begin to wonder. Is Edward Julian Watson an alterego?
I love and identify with him. Is he going to become a book? I missed the beginning of course, but with Edward, it doesn't seem to matter. You can pick him up just about anywhere and scratch you head and see yourself in his self-conscious actions.
Blessings,
Connie
Constance said…
Hello, Queenie,
Having been visiting your blog periodically over the last few months, I begin to wonder. Is Edward Julian Watson an alterego?
I love and identify with him. Is he going to become a book? I missed the beginning of course, but with Edward, it doesn't seem to matter. You can pick him up just about anywhere and scratch you head and see yourself in his self-conscious actions.
Blessings,
Connie
Queenie said…
I do not think Edward Julian Watson is my alterego.
But who knows?
I like him.
Thank you, Connie.

Q
Phoesable said…
Hi Q.
I've read this story several times now, as I come by periodically looking for a Tommy fix. Each time it lands in me just a little deeper. I like Edward Julian Watson, too.
Queenie said…
I will get on that for you :)

Q

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