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Don't Waste Your Breath

I did some laundry on Sunday.
I hate doing laundry.
But the whole house was out of towels. And blankets.
Hell, the kids were gonna be out of underwear, too.
I noticed when I was folding everything, I had put in The Blanket.
The Cat Birth Blanket.

Sometimes, I try to make laundry fun.
So, sometimes something I would normally throw in the garbage, I will wash. The Blanket was a beautiful yellow sheet I had used in haste when Stray Cat went into labour a few years back.
It ended up being a pretty awesome mess.
I wanted to know if it could be cleaned.
I found out it could be.
You would never know a Stray Cat had babies on it.
Except, there is this patch of faded blood on the one corner.
The Blanket was such a sunny shade of colour, I decided to keep it anyway.

Monday evening, I decided to have a bath. I often decide to do this. But tonight I wanted it out of the way before Cindy came back. Tuesdays are my early days. My way too early days. Cindy now spends the night on Mondays.
I had a glorious bathtime.
I put my favorite smelling bubble bath of the moment into the rushing water. My favorite towel was clean and I laid it out for myself. I got out my sexiest bedtime clothing I could get away with without poor Ian thinking I was hitting on him...The water was actually the perfect temperature, for once.
I read Plato.
I shaved my legs.
I got to wrap myself in fluffy white softness.
I tossed Plato on my bed after I was done and I admired how sexy and how not sexy I looked in the my wooden oval mirror.
And then I turned to get Plato, I was not done with him.
That is when I saw Them.
Cindy's Dirty Underwear.
Beside My Pillow.
"Ian!" I cried like a girl.
And Ian came running down the hallway.
But Ian did not care if I cried like a girl.
Ian said no.
I had to move the Dirty Underwear by myself.
While I thought of all the reasons my employee might want to take off her Dirty Underwear in my room; I went and made her bed for the night with The Blanket.
I could hear The Voice grinning at me.
Don't Waste Your Breath, I warned him.

Comments

AJ in Nashville said…
If The Voice grins in the forest, and Queenie wasn't there to hear, would he make a sound?
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 at 12:30:00 GMT-4
Karri Bowman said…
Maybe Cindy and Ian are having a secret love affair.
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 at 15:58:00 GMT-4
Phoesable said…
there's something plain wrong with leaving your dirty underwear next to someone else's pillow. such a person deserves the WORST that can be brought... like, like, a blanket that a cat gave birth on!

LOL, Q. Great story.
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 at 17:29:00 GMT-4
Self Induced said…
By the way, my cousin Eric is staying over at our house for a while, and after I had an awesome baseball game (we actually tied it, 7-7) I put one of my nasty socks under his bedsheets. Good times.
Wednesday, 15 September 2004 at 18:23:00 GMT-4
Terrible lie said…
This is absolutly brilliant!!!
Brilliant i say!!!
They need spell checker on the comments!!!!
Thursday, 16 September 2004 at 15:56:00 GMT-4
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