You check in on me when you get your break for lunchtime now. You never used to. You ask me, "Are you all right?" You breath in and out hard once through your nose, like it is a chore to even ask. It seems to me that for you everything is an obligation, even holding my hand. Everything you do doesn't feel like anything more than surveillance now. I don't want the days to end and it is getting harder to sleep at night. I am starting to feel sick, like I have the flu. I'm always cold. But I haven't eaten much lately. My stomach is filled with acid. I smile at you anyway. I write two letters a day. One to keep you smiling and one that tells of the truth, but they both look the same. You do not know that I form certain words and sentences in a way that triggers me, in a way that reminds me of what is real. It is something that I started doing in grade school for tests, so that I could easily remember the answers, and then later, so my mother would not underst...
Comments
:)
but it's my favorite of your posts...that and the one about bill being killed. both sit with me and pop into my head from time to time...
i'm so honored that you read and enjoy my blog. i am always excited to curl my fit beneath me and read more of your wonderful stories.
thank you so much.
I have always been thrilled when you left me comments.
Thank you for these words posted above me.
You have left me smiling as I head off to bed.
Q
You are all spendid, in my mind.
Q
(ignore Q the comment directly above, that is blogger being stupid. blogger should be shot some days. no more cookies for me.)
Q