Ladies In Red

It was three nights ago now, close to bedtime when my son informed me there had been a lady bug in his Lamp Shade all day.
"Lady Bugs are nice Bugs," I said.
"Yeah," he replied.
I thought about...

...a few weeks ago when The Spider had been in his Lamp Shade. A Spider with long legs.
My son had noticed him at three in the afternoon. Both of us just decided to not go into his room for the rest of the day.
I even let him stay-up half an hour later than usual.
The Spider was still in the Lamp Shade, when I had to put him to bed.
And my son was not going to go to sleep with The Spider in his room.
And I am never touching a spider.
So, I got out the broom and killed my second spider ever...

Bradlee and his mother are Everyday visitors in my home. Bradlee's mother likes coffee. Like me. But sometimes we have to drink pop. And once, orange juice.
The boys always take off to my son's room. And they are heathens. But in away that really hurts no one. Hardly ever even each other.
For the past few days, every time I have checked on them, they have been playing with the plastic tennis rackets and baseball bats.
I will admit, they looked vaguely guilty.
But when I looked around the room, nothing was broken.
No one was screaming.
So, I let them have their fun.

Last night, my son showed me there was three Lady Bugs in his Lamp Shade.
"Are they Bugging you?" I asked.
"Not really," he said. "Me and Bradlee have been getting rid of lots."
"Oh," I said. "I think Lady Bugs are cute."
"Yeah," he said. "Bradlee does not."
I looked around his room.
"Well, at least you guys are getting rid of the bodies."
"In the toilet," he said.
"Be careful who you tell that to," I said, as I closed his bedroom door.
And decided to go pee.
There was a Lady Bug crawling over my cold water tap.
Well, I use hot water to wash my hands.

I was doing dishes when I noticed a Lady Bug on one of the blue coffee mugs sitting on my counter. She looked comfortable, so I did not wash it.
Besides, I can appreciate anything that enjoys a good cup of coffee.
There was another Lady Bug in my window sill, enjoying the evening breeze like me. And one who was climbing up my top cupboards. Who knows why. But she seemed to know.

One was walking lazily along the green table cloth on my dining room table.
"Not quite like grass, is it?" I said to her, and let her be because I noticed one climbing up my Big White front door.
"You maybe what outside?" I asked.
So, I opened the Big White door, but left the Screen Door closed.
I am under the assumption, Lady Bugs are the magical kind of bugs that can walk through a Screen Door if they so desire to.

I settled into my chair in front on the computer last night to write.
But I also took messages from someone on my Messenger.
I let him know I was infested with Lady Bugs.
I was hoping for some insight.
He typed back about gnats sometimes having sex on garbage.
I sighed. Nobody knows how to get rid of Lady Bugs, because they are not annoying. Or gross.
And I let The Voice know this.
You are picking the wrong bugs, Dumbass, I told him.
Then I looked up at the Lady Bug ontop of my monitor.
"How's it going, Ethel?" I said to her.
She must have been sleeping because she did not answer. This made me think of Stupid Fly.
Do you suppose Ethel is really Stupid Fly re-incarnated? I asked The Voice.
You are an idiot, he replied.
And I just let him have the last word. I have to sometimes, or he gets all pissy.